Dom Testa

Author / Speaker/ Broadcaster

Stuff From The Show

August 11, 2017
When Pop Rocks Come Out The Other End

I know, the title is a little clumsy, but that pretty much describes the two-minute conversation.

It started with news of the latest food gimmick. Fast food joints have got to constantly introduce gimmicky things to grab some attention (and hopefully a little additional market share).

This time it included Pop Rocks, which gave me the opening I needed to introduce a little-known (although possibly false) bit of trivia about your rectum.

How can you not listen to that? Click on the little button below and it shall happen.

 

August 9, 2017
The Big Password Lie

Every so often you get those horrid reminders to update your password. Then you have to think up something clever, and THEN try to remember it a month later.

Oh, and don't forget the "one lower-case letter, one upper-case letter, and a symbol." We get lectured about that a lot, too.

Except . . . it's all b.s. We've been conned.

The actual secret to a more secure password is much, much simpler. And, in my case, unintentionally dirty.

Check out the clip.

 

August 3, 2017
Too Much Nudity

I admit that the subject of nudity shows up on our show more often than normal. But hey, we're all naked under our clothes, right?

So Jeremy had a concern about taking his son to the gym, where a lot of guys seem to be rather free and easy with the equipment. And I don't mean the rowing machine.

Plus, I confessed that I might be unclothed around my house from time to time. Okay, so a lot of the time.

It all boiled down to another scintillating discussion of the human body. Go on and listen to this clip, you perv.

 

August 2, 2017
This Queen Can DRINK!

Queen Elizabeth, the reigning monarch in Britain since Eisenhower's first term (whoa!), is 91 years old and still going strong.

Now we might have a clue about what has fueled her highness. And we like it all.

Our source is Vanity Fair, along with Food & Wine Magazine - they sound respectable enough. Anyway, they have the lowdown on what the Queen consumes each day. Could it be the prescription for a healthy, long life?

Have a listen and decide for yourself. We, of course, treat it with the same immature response the Brits have expected from us for 200 years.

August 1, 2017
Baby Talk

I get it that people use baby talk with their pets. It's almost a natural tendency, and the damned dog seems to like it.

But when you're out with another couple, and they start in with the baby talk...

Or, as you'll hear in this very quick clip from the show this morning, even YOUR BOSS can do it.

Enjoy.

 

July 27, 2017
The Jewelry Party

I think we all know that your invitation to a friend's house for a jewelry party - or a candle party, or (ahem) a toy party - comes with a certain expectation.

You go, you socialize, you drink a little wine - and then you bust out your wallet.

When our traffic diva, Kris, told us about HER experience, however, we could only imagine how she pulled it off. And we have pretty active imaginations.

Enjoy the clip!

 

July 19, 2017
Too Much Perfume

Image courtesy of Alexis LaHendro

Image courtesy of Alexis LaHendro

You've heard about people who OD, and that's horrible.

It's also horrible when people OP. That's "over-perfume."

We've all noticed it. I'll bet right this very moment you're able to recall the name of the person you worked with who used to bathe in it before coming into the office.

But Jeremy found that people also overdo the scent stuff when they go somewhere you wouldn't normally expect it. That conversation - as it often does on our show - took a few twists and turns, until we arrived at my neck.

You can hear it right here!

 

July 18, 2017
Worst Mom Ever

Okay, she's not, really. In fact, she was freakin' adorable.

My favorite part of the radio show is talking on the phone with fun (and funny) listeners. We just never know what we're going to get. Highly-paid radio consultants hate the way I prolong conversations with callers - I've had many fingers waggled in my face - but I like to think of it as going fishing. I mean, the longer we talk with them, the more likely we can pull something out that will not only make US laugh, but the other listeners, too.

That's what happened with Haley, a sweet mom of four kids, followed by the super-high-energy Julie. I love these ladies.

Hope you have fun with the clip. Here it is:

 

July 13, 2017
Stupid Songs, Cheaters, and a Foursome

FoursomePic.jpg

This is a quick smattering of topics during one of our trending reports. It starts with a purely editorial comment I had to make about a certain Taylor Swift song. What can I say? I pay attention to lyrics.

Then Jer has a report on how people are mad at Facebook because it's hampering their ability to cheat. We happen to think there's a very simple solution, but many people are dumb.

And then there's poor ol' Woody Harrelson. The bartender from Cheers apparently goes to motel rooms where everybody knows his name. At least I THINK they knew his name.

Here's the clip, edited down to a lightning-fast four minutes or so. Enjoy.

July 6, 2017
The Right Ways to Make Up

Nobody enjoys getting into an argument with your spouse/partner/whatever you call each other.

But apparently there are ways to make up that work better than others. And this is scientific, don'tcha know.

The thing is, what works for a woman is not what works for the guy. Each of the genders has a technique that is more likely to make the other person wilt, or at least end the argument and get back to normal. Or semi-normal.

I shared the info with Jer, who immediately (of course) pooh-poohed it. Have a listen to the podcast of the segment, and see if it's something you'd try.

If not, enjoy your night on the couch.

 

June 29, 2017
Dom Gets the Finger

IMG_2735.JPG

Look, I'm a responsible person. I know that every mature man needs to have his annual exam.

That annual exam, of course, includes the one test I wish was every FIVE years. Or ten.

I know, I know, every woman reading this will say You've got it easy, Buster. Okay, I'm sure that's true, but it doesn't make my ten-second-trial any easier.

As TJ, our prize guy at the station said: "When I had that test and asked my doctor where I should put my pants, the last thing I expected to hear him say was 'Right over there, next to mine'"

HA!

Anyway, here's a quick clip from this morning where Jeremy showed no sympathy at all - because he hasn't had to do this. Yet.

June 27, 2017
Your Dog Will Eat You

You love your dog. Your dog is a member of your family.

Natalie is our assistant producer, and this is her dog, Jack. Natalie will someday be consumed by this adorable Samoyed.

Natalie is our assistant producer, and this is her dog, Jack. Natalie will someday be consumed by this adorable Samoyed.

And your dog loves you. Not unconditionally, like you may believe, but they do like you a lot.

However, National Geographic confirmed something that Jeremy and I have long suspected. Jer, in fact, got yelled at by many people when he first suggested this horrific fact to our midday redhead, Emily.

Here comes the validation and the vindication. If you'd rather not know the truth about what lurks inside your pet's mind, do not listen to this clip from the show. But if you're at all curious about THE TRUTH . . . ha ha!

Oh, hell, just listen to it. It's funny. At least we thought so.

June 26, 2017
What Makes Someone Instantly Hotter?

It started simply enough, with a question from a listener. She said the hottest thing a guy could wear is a white button-up shirt, even with just jeans. She said it instantly made a guy sexier.

She wanted to know if we could name anything that instantly made a woman hotter.

Yes. Yes, we could. Well, I could, anyway. But as for Jeremy? You probably know what to expect from him.

And now you can think about what does it for you, but only after you listen to this clip.

 

June 26, 2017
Free Samples at Costco

Let's face it, you're either a person who stops in the aisle at Costco to get the free samples, or you have a life.

(Did I say that out loud?)

Jeremy made the remarkably foolish error of taking his family to Costco ON A WEEKEND. Dude, you just DON'T do that.

And, of course, he paid the price when he found himself caught in the gnarled, life-draining world of oversized-shopping cart congestion. All because people HAVE to get the tiny free sample of kale-and-onion chips.

The poor man vented on the show, and you can hear his plaintive cry below.

 

June 21, 2017
Nude Hiking is a Thing

IMG_2741.jpg

Although most people in Colorado claim to "love hiking," I can honestly say I really do. Let's put it this way - the All Trails app gets a lot of use on my phone.

So when Jeremy announced that the good people at the Colorado Parks and Wildlife office would be on the lookout (so to speak) for people who were tempted to take advantage of National Nude Hiking Day, it made me think.

I mean, if no one saw you do it, wouldn't it be like the ol' "tree falls in a forest" kinda thing?

Sorry if this disturbs you. But, c'mon, isn't there a part of you that wants to try it, too? No? Just me? Okay.

Here's what our conversation about the whole thing sounded like.

 

June 19, 2017
Late to The Harry Potter Party

We've all experienced the shame of being the last person to discover what everyone else has enjoyed for years. I refer to it as being "late to the party."

For example, I never had access to HBO, so while the rest of the known universe seemed to gush about Game of Thrones, I was clueless. It's not that I didn't want to watch it; I just didn't have cable or satellite. (I chose to cut the cord about six years ago, and have zero regrets - well, other than this G.O.T. thing.)

But a listener named April told us that she somehow missed the whole Harry Potter phenomenon when it was going on, and is just now getting her wizard fix.

Of course, we ruined it for her. ;)

 

June 13, 2017
The Crooked Crack

Every so often we get sucked into a conversation about body oddities. I call them boddities.

You've probably known someone who had six fingers, or a person who had two spleens. We once had a call from a woman whose husband's internal organs were on the opposite side of what we consider normal. His heart, for example, was right-center, rather than left-center.

But I don't think we were prepared for what became known as The Crooked Crack.

 

June 9, 2017
Dom is a Table Snob

I know what I like, and what I don't like.

I don't like sitting at crappy tables. Why PAY to sit in the middle of a high-traffic freeway inside the restaurant, when your meal would be so much more pleasant at that nice, cozy table over in the corner?

So I ask for specific tables if they're available. Jeremy says that's "high maintenance." I don't think so.

If you wanna chat about it, I'll be at the great table over by the fireplace. In the meantime, here's a quick bit of audio.

June 8, 2017
Pre-Check Chivalry

When you're at the airport and you get TSA Pre-Check, it's a treat. You don't have to take off your shoes, or take out your computer or liquids, that kinda stuff.

But what happens when you're traveling with your significant other and only one of you has that privilege. Is the other person supposed to give it up?

You wouldn't think it's a big deal, but c'mon - YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE OUT YOUR COMPUTER OR LIQUIDS!

Anyway, it was the subject of many fun phone chats, including this one.

June 6, 2017
Men Crying After Intimacy

A woman wrote to us and said that after her first intimate experience with a guy, he posted something on Facebook about how incredible she was. This led to a long chat about "over-sharing," but it also prompted a quip from Jeremy about how they might've cried.

He was joking - but I had to take that opportunity to wonder if ol' Jer hadn't wept himself.

I'll leave it for the jury to decide. But it was funny as hell to talk about.


June 1, 2017
Dom, His Dad, and The Beatles

My dad had no love for rock 'n roll, or the folks who sang it. He thought of them as "long-haired drug addicts." And, yeah, some of them were.

So it was a jaw-dropping experience for me as an eight-year-old when he came home with something special.

On the 50th anniversary of rock music's most iconic album - and the moment when everything in rock/pop music changed - I had to share the story of my dad's gift.

I'm in radio today because of it.

 


May 24, 2017
Celibacy and The Deli


It started innocently enough - pop singer Nicki Minaj announced that she was going to be celibate. And then things (at least for us) went south. Quickly.

At least we learned that Jeremy has his own notions of what does - and what does not - constitute, um, whoopie. I do my best to explain the differences, but without PowerPoint slides I'm afraid it's hopeless.

Anyway, take a listen and hear for yourself. Once again, the easily offended may want to skip this one. The rest of us will just laugh.


May 16, 2017
This Is Why We Don't Do Knock-Knock Jokes


Okay, I'll admit it's funny. But maybe the funniest part (to me) was how long it took me to get it.

I used to be good at these.

It's less than a minute, if you wanna re-live third grade.


May 16, 2017
Dom's Prom Song Was What??


Did you know you can look up the #1 prom song from the year you graduated? I didn't either.

But apparently my sarcastic radio partner did a little digging.

Hey, at least it had a good beat. Listen to the quick clip and see if you don't tap your toes.


May 12, 2017
The new Amy Schumer movie is called . . .

The new Amy Schumer/Goldie Hawn movie is out today, and on the radio show this morning I was trying to tell Jeremy about it. But for some reason he can't hear a particular word without cracking up.

We received a few complaints about this segment, which I just don't understand. Can't we all just laugh?

You can hear it for yourself right here. (Warning: apparently it offends some people.)

Thanks for listening!

If you want to dive into the world of writing and publishing, be sure to visit the Big Fat Words page right here.

P.O. Box 370567     Denver, CO     80237