Dom Testa

Author, Speaker, Broadcaster

Sleeping in Separate Beds - or Separate Rooms?

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You're in a happy relationship, and you'd never dream of hurting your partner's feelings. But there's this little matter of sleep. If they're keeping you awake, is it time to think about changing your sleeping situation?

I'm talking about finally breaking down and sleeping in separate beds. Or, in some cases, even separate rooms. It's something we've covered many times on the radio show, and it's an interesting exploration of a social custom.

Because, for whatever reason, our society has the notion that sleeping apart somehow means you don't love the other person anymore. Which is funny. It's just sleep. You're unconscious. Why is it so important to be unconscious together?

A new survey found that 12% of couples do sleep separately. But when the question became "Would you LIKE to sleep separately?" almost half of people said "Hell yes."

Half. And that's just the ones who admit it.

The reasons for doing it make sense. Either your partner snores (that's a biggie), it's too hot with double the body heat, someone's a cover hog, or they simply go to bed and/or wake up at different times.

So I'm wondering: In our sleep-deprived society, what will it take for this to become acceptable? What will need to happen before people stop equating separate beds with separate lives? What if some high-powered couple (think George/Amal, Kim/Kanye, Barack/Michelle) came out and said, "Hey, we sleep in separate beds. What's it to ya?"

I think that's what we need. We need Separate Sleeping Role Models.

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If someone's worried about the loss of intimacy, well, there's no rule that says you can't treat it like a boxing match. Get together, tangle for a few rounds, but then go to your separate corners.

Perhaps it's time for you to approach your sweetheart and start a dialogue. You can use this story (and the link to the study) to show them it has nothing to do with love - or a lack of.

It's just sleep, man. Go get you some.

 

 

Cart napper pic courtesy of Mika on Unsplash
Sleeping seal photo courtesy of Jackman Chiu on Unsplash

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